​These people are dogs!

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Enter your text here ... Cat meets dog walking sadly down the road. "What is the problem, you seem to be troubled?," asks the cat. "Its the humans!," says dog. "Every time one of them does something wrong, other humans call him a dog. I am just tied of listening to my name being dragged through the mud, I can't take any more," mourned dog. "Every t...
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​Oranges!

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One night two thieves broke into a store and stole a bag of oranges from the fresh products section of the shop before they were disturbed. The culprits ran away and were never caught. They decided the safest place to share their loot was the cemetery. On entering the cemetery, two oranges fell from the bag and the two saw it better to come for the...
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​Wise and wiser!

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An old man whose hair is wearing off is asked by his grandson why his hair is wearing off. "My hair is wearing off because I am worried," answered the old man. "Why are you worried Grandpa?," asked the young man. "I am worried because my hair is wearing off," answered the old man.

​*World's 8 superb lessons worth sharing with loved ones:*

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Enter your text here ... *Shakespeare :*?? Never play with the feelings of others because you may win the game but the risk is that you will surely lose the person for a life time. -------------------------------- *Napoleon:*?? The world suffers a lot. Not because of the violence of bad people, But because of the silence of good people! -----------...
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​*A Priest's Retirement Speech*

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Enter your text here ... A Priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. The leading local politician was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was late, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited: He commenced with: "Thank Goodness we Catholic...
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Vote wisely

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Enter your text here ... *While walking down the street one day a politician is hit by a truck and dies.* *His soul arrives in heaven and is met by an angel at the entrance.* *"Welcome to heaven," says the angel. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see politicians around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do w...
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A blind man went to a restaurant. "Menu sir?" Asked the owner. "I'm blind. Just bring me one of your dirty forks.. I will smell it and order."

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A blind man went to a restaurant. "Menu sir?" Asked the owner. "I'm blind. Just bring me one of your dirty forks.. I will smell it and order." The confused owner got a fork. The blind man smelt the fork with a deep breath. "Yes, I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables. "Unbelievable!" thought the owner. The blind man ate a...
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​Teacher wrote on the board, *36x + yx, 2/3yx + 3x (66y + 12x).b =0*

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​ Teacher wrote on the board, *36x + yx, 2/3yx + 3x (66y + 12x).b =0* He turned to Simon and said, "Solve the problem." Simon picked the duster, cleaned the board and said, "Problem solved! Some of our life problems require such solutions. Just clean it off and move on. Enjoy the rest of the day. Have a Blessed day!

​Alcohol is not a joke!

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Two guys after serious boozing, went to a bus stop but saw a bus just leaving the station, so they ran after it but there was only one seat left, therefore only one guy boarded the bus. The guy who was left behind started laughing, till he fell on the ground, someone asked him "why are you laughing, you missed the bus, and you've been left behind"....
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​The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

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Here are the winners: 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. 3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 4. Reintarnation: Coming back...
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*While walking down the street one day a politician is hit by a truck and dies.*

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*While walking down the street one day a politician is hit by a truck and dies.* *His soul arrives in heaven and is met by an angel at the entrance.* *"Welcome to heaven," says the angel. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see politicians around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."* *"No problem, ...
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A Delicate Corporate Matter

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All of the 10 Senior Members of the Board of Directors of the Company were called into the Chairman's office one by one . . . until only Bob, the junior-most Member, was left sitting outside. Finally it was his turn to be summoned . . . He entered the Office to find the Chairman and the ten other Directors seated around the Board Table. He was invi...
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Kim Jong Un decided to send Donald Trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

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Kim Jong Un decided to send Donald Trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single-line coded message :                     *370HSSV-0773H* Trump was baffled, so he e-mailed it to the his aides, who had no clu...
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​First year Oxford Unversity medical students were attending their 1st Anatomy Class

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​ First year Oxford Unversity medical students were attending their 1st Anatomy Class. They all gathered around the table and there was a real dead body on the table. The Professor, Loveluck started the class by telling them two important qualities of a DOCTOR. He said, "The 1st is that never be DISGUSTED about anything in the body." For ...
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Science Competition between Gt Britain, Germany, Russia and America. And the winner is...

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​ A British doctor says: "In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for a job." The German doctor says: "That's nothing, in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for a job." The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we took half a...
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A husband gets home drunk at 4am and knocks on the door....

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Wife: Go back to where you are coming from with your whores!! Husband: Open the door please, or I will throw myself into the swimming pool. Wife: Go ahead and kill yourself, do you think I care? So the Husband stands near the dark part of the deck, waited for 2 minutes. Then he took a big stone and threw it into the swimming pool. His wife heard th...
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​No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words COMPLETE and FINISHED.

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​No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words COMPLETE and FINISHED. Some people say there's no difference but there is. When you marry the right woman  you are COMPLETE!  When you marry the wrong woman you are FINISHED! And if you marry  a wife who likes shopping, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED&nb...
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​COLD WAR

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​ COLD WAR A woman and her 7 years old son were inside a Taxi. It was raining and all the twilight girls (Prostitutes) were standing by the roadside. The Boy asked; "Mummy, what are all those women doing?." His Mother replied; "They are waiting for their husbands to come back from work." The Taxi driver turned around and said; "Why don't you tell h...
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SISTERS OF ST. AGNES HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES

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While driving down a deserted stretch of highway, a man noticed a sign out of the corner of his eye. It read, SISTERS OF ST. AGNES HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES At first, he thought this was a figment of his imagination. And he drove on without a second thought. Soon he saw another sign which read, SISTERS OF ST. AGNES HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILE...
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The Difference - Crazy vs Stupid

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​ _The Difference - Crazy vs Stupid. A truck driver was doing his usual delivery to a Mental Hospital. Just as he was about to leave, he discovered he had a flat tyre. He jacked up the truck and took the flat tyre down. When he was about to fix the spare tyre, he accidentally dropped all the bolts into the drain. Try as he might, he couldn't fish t...
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​"A farmer saw a plane full of politicians crash near his farm. When the police arrived, they asked the farmer what happened

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​ "A farmer saw a plane full of politicians crash near his farm. When the police arrived, they asked the farmer what happened. . Farmer: They crashed near my farm and I buried all of them. One of the police men asked with shock; "are you sure they were all dead"? . Farmer: Some of them were screaming, "we are still alive". But I didn't believe them...
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ITS NOT ALWAYS EASY BEING A TEACHER

ITS NOT ALWAYS EASY BEING A TEACHER

​ ITS NOT ALWAYS EASY BEING A TEACHER Teacher: How old is your father? Kid: He is 6 years. Teacher: What? How is this possible? Kid: He became father only when I was born. (Logic!! Children are quick and always speak their minds.) _____________________ TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now, C...
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​Today is Jim's birthday, so his wife decides to surprise him, she takes him to a Strip Club.

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​ Today is Jim's birthday,  so his wife decides to surprise him, she takes him to a Strip Club. At the club - DOORMAN: Hey Jim! How are you? ? WIFE: How does he know you? ? JIM: We play Golf together! ? BARTENDER: The usual beer Jim? ? WIFE: And how does he know you? ? JIM: He's on the Bowling Team! ? HOT STRIPPER: The special Lap Dance again,...
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Monkey Business

Monkey Business

​*Monkey Business* A lot of monkeys lived near a village. One day a merchant came to the village to buy the monkeys. He announced that he would buy the monkeys for £100 each. The villagers thought he was mad. They thought how can somebody buy stray monkeys for £100 each? Still, some people caught a few monkeys and gave them to the merchant and he g...
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TO HELL WITH THOSE PSYCHIATRISTS.. GO TALK TO YOUR friend.

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​ Classic one  ??? Ever since Robert was a child, he had a fear of someone under his bed at night. So he went to a Psychiatrist and told him "I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy." "Just put yourself in my hands for one year", said the psychiatrist. "Come, talk to me t...
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