EU threatens to raise tariffs on US ketchup

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EU will meet American desperate measures for reducing European aluminium and steel import rate with countermeasures. EU plans to impose tariffs on many US imported goods, ketchup being one of the named. Fear not, dear Catchupnews readers, for news from the other side of the ocean will still flow freely.

Theresa May on Easter break

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​After a long series of unfortunate bonding with her European partners, Theresa May decided she needs a break to reflect on everything she has been through. Catchupnews was told by street colporteurs that's she is now enjoying herself in London suburbs, eating her favourite food and drinking her beloved Danish lager, commenting on EastEnders, and c...
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Beckhams celebrating 20 years of coexistence

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​ The Beckham family enterprise emerged in 1999 and has been striking to prosperous stardom ever since, according to Catchupnews. The joint economy household is a well-known brand that can sell almost anything that could be sold – cars, booze, washing machines, pants and shirts, papers and magazines, screwdrivers, buttons, parrots, tires, flashligh...
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Possible suspect for Notre-Dame fire

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Paris authorities are for now ruling out a possible arson in the case of Notre-Dame. The famous cathedral was severely damaged in the fire two days ago. Catchupnews sends condolences to French people.  Still, some online users claim they recognized the face of an intruder among the firemen - the man formerly known for torturing Quasimodo and E...
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Scientists discover that cheese ages better with music

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​Scientists from the Bern University of Arts in Switzerland have discovered that cheese tastes and smells better when you expose it to music. The taste, however, depends on the type of music you're playing – hip-hop cheese has a rich, fruity flavour, and the classical music aficionado cheese is sweet and moderate. Catchupnews asked the cheeses for ...
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Zuckerberg jealous of Instagram's success

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​After purchasing Instagram and WhatsApp, Mark Zuckerberg gradually cut off their resources.Some Facebook basement rats told Catchupnews that it was due to Mark's enormous jealousy – the named apps where much cooler than Facebook ever was. Mark, however, kept claiming his amount of cool was steadily rising even before Facebook. The claim was met wi...
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Blonde zebras have more fun

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​Catchupnews reports that a very rare kind of zebra was photographed recently in its natural habitat – the so-called blonde zebra. It was moving smoothly among the zebra crowd as if it was the queen of the herd. It really proves that the famous saying is, in fact, truthful – blonde zebras do have more fun.

Image of black hole captured

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​Scientists have captured a perfectly seeable image of the M87 galaxy black hole. The black hole entity was considered to be just a vague idea until now. Black holes are assumed to devour light or anything that comes near them, and alter the state of matter. Unfortunately, some scientist later discovered that they now see the back of their heads, a...
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Man is suing his parents for destroying his porn collection

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​A grown-up man from Indiana, USA, sued his own parents for destroying his unique magazine and video collection of supreme porn accomplishments. Although the parents were sure they were doing him a favour by getting rid of the stuff, his reaction was quite different from what they've imagined. Catchupnews was told that he now wants them to pay him ...
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Americans plan to land on Moon again in 2024

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Americans are planning to visit the Moon in 2024 using private companies, and staying there for good. The mission will pave the way for the later mission to Mars, planned to happen by 2033. Catchupnews reporters got a glimpse of  the magnificent scenery somewhere in the Mojave desert, and claim that it will be even better than 1972 landing foo...
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