*_A lady and her 7-year-old son are eating in a restaurant._*
*_In a moment of playfulness, the boy swallows a coin and chokes. The mother tries slapping his back, rubbing his neck, shaking him hard and everything she could think of, without success._*
*_The boy begins to turn blue. The desperate mother starts screaming for help._*
*_A man gets up from a nearby table, and with astonishing tranquillity, without saying a word, lowers the boy's pants and squeezes his testicles._*
*_The boy yells and spits out the coin. The gentleman with the same tranquillity returns to his table without a word._*
*_Soon, the mother calms down and approaches the gentleman to thank him for saving her son's life._*
*_She asks, "Sir, are you a doctor..?"_*
*_"No, ma'am," comes the reply. "I'm an Assistant Commissioner of Income Tax"_*
*_"We are trained to squeeze everyone's balls to make them cough up the last penny."_*
At Moscow airport, customs found a Lenin statue in his baggage and asked, "What is this?"
The man replied, "What is this? Wrong question comrade. You should have asked : Who is he? This is Comrade Lenin. He laid the foundations of socialism and created the future and prosperity of the Russian people. I am taking it with me as a memory of our dear hero."
The Russian customs officer let him go without further inspection.
At Tel Aviv airport, the Israeli customs officer also asked our friend, "What is this?"
He replied, "What is this? Wrong question, Sir. You should be asking, 'Who is this?' This is Lenin, the bastard who caused me, a Jew, to leave Russia. I take this statue with me so I can curse him every day."
The Israeli customs officer said, "I apologize, Sir, you are cleared to go"
Settling into his new house, he put the statue on a table. To celebrate his immigration, he invited his friends and relatives to dinner.
One of his friends asked, "Who is this?"
He replied, "My dear friend, 'Who is this' is a wrong question. You should have asked, What is this?
This is ten kilograms of solid gold that I managed to bring with me without paying any customs duty and tax."
Politics is when you can tell the same garbage in different ways to fool different audiences, to allow you to look good in every way.😎😎
(Once you see it you can't un-see it!)
"Can't believe I posted this on Instagram and someone commented about how it looked like I had a d*** in between my leg," she wrote.
She explained that the object was just a reflection cast onto the mirror by the back of her leg.
That didn't stop social media users the
"I spotted it now after about a minute
looking . Yes they're right, it looks
like a big one alright."
"An absolute belter at that."
"Christ no, ultimate photobomb,"
"I didn't see it before, but now I can't
stop seeing it."
"That is brilliant,"